Noodle Bagz take on Turf Games // 5 tips from a kook
What have we gotten ourselves into! The Noodle Bagz staff are stoked (and extremely worried) to announce a collaboration with Turf Games, a community of functional fitness competitions based in the United Kingdom. Turf Games LA takes place this Saturday September 21st at AMP association gym by Venice Beach. We’ve made some rad custom Noodle Bagz for the athletes flying in from the UK and even have our first tester batch of women’s suits. With a hugely positive relationship being built, with this awesome brand, we were granted a spot to compete as Team Noodle Bagz at the fitness event. We’ve been prepping the custom swimsuits and our rigs for the big day, so take a scroll down at our blog below for some details, extra special kit, and 5 tips from the least prepared fitness team in history.
A spicy treat for your recovery swims: Custom Noodle Bagz
Check out some sneaky preview pics of the Custom Turf Games Noodle Bagz. The male athletes will receive our signature custom style with the girlos being the first group to beta test our new custom ladies range.
5 Tips from a fitness competition kook
Tip 1: Go light and increase volume
Ok this is a second hand tip we got from a friend via WhatsApp but we’ve really adopted the strategy well. We’ve switched from Marlboro Reds to Marlboro Lights and increased our volume to three packs a day. Low tar so far so good.
Tip 2: Focus on your strengths
We’ve spent 75% of our annual expenses budget to bribe Andrew from Turf Games to put in a bench press section in the competition. Since that’s the only exercise we do in the gym why change now? The workout itself (Muscle Beach A) is 2 minutes to move as much weight as possible on bench (for men) and back squat (for women). Originally we quarreled over what weight to use and how many change overs we would have, then we discovered that only one question really matters: “What will give us the best pump!” … So stay tuned to watch 3 blokes do eccentric holds and score -10 points while the girlos ace the squats.
Tip 3: Talk trash like a pro
UK teams vs US teams! You’ll need to prehab your mouth for this showdown. We’re here to help, here’s a few sprays from both sides of the pond that can be used during Turf Games LA or your stepdads Golfing awards dinner.
“Your rowing face is like a bulldog chewing a wasp”
“If only you ran as fast as your hairline”
“Rest Dballs on your shoulder and I’ll empty the tank”
“DM me your teammates snatch”
“You’re not my real dad” *may not apply to all athletes
Tip 4: Follow Noodle Bagz on instagram and get custom swimsuits for your gym
This is not a shameless plug masquerading as a joke, it’s just a shameless plug.
Tip 5: Win the after party
Listen, we may not win the Turf Games LA, we may not be the ‘Fittest in the City’ … but Team Noodle Bagz will be the Littest in the City immediately after the competition. For all you UK athletes whose workouts are getting in the way of your partying (yeah we stalked your insta BIG DEAL) try this quick session to prep for Saturday:
2 shots of tequila
Tell your teammate they did good then turn and critique their rowing form to @LeePhillips
Throw up a palm tree insta story with the caption “never leaving LaLaLand”
One Vodka soda with a splash of sprite cause you have a huge surplus of Calories
Fake a phone call to avoid the peanut talking about Brexit
Time Cap: Go home you’re drunk